Stewardship, sacrificial giving, pledge card, commitment month…these words tend to make me uncomfortable.

That seems silly considering I have been worshiping in the Episcopal Church for 17 years and I know every October is commitment month. I have also been turning in pledge cards for 13 years; I know that it helps the Vestry create a viable budget for the coming church year. But knowing these things doesn’t take away my discomfort. I have been pondering why?

Is it because church is my spiritual home and thinking business thoughts like filling out cards and making budgets seems so very unspiritual? I know the lights need to be turned on and staff needs to be paid. Our post-modern society is technological and information and money make the world go round. But my faith is ancient; the treasure of my story is sacred, as is your story because it is God’s story.

Sometimes words are not enough to convey our story. Sometimes all I can do is sing or dance, or fall to my knees and pray. Sometimes all I can do is laugh, or weep or hug someone close and say “God’s peace to you”. Sometimes I just need to fill out the commitment card to navigate the practical side of my faith.

One Sunday in October a seminarian visited and preached about the calendar. “Take a look at your calendar” she said. “Where do you spend most of your time?” This is what you find important. “Take a look at your checkbook”, she said. “Where do you write most of your checks?” This is what you find important. “Take a look at your interests and passions and how you use them” she said. “Do you amuse yourself or serve others?” This is what you find important. I did the homework and the results astounded and terrified me! My calendar only showed God for an hour on Sunday morning, my checkbook showed pizza hut to be my Lord and my “to do” list didn’t show any talent or interest but rather busy work that never ceased to end. If you had asked me I would have said “I serve one master, I worship one God.” How mistaken I was.

From that revelation on I have been a first fruits person. I tithe my time, my talent and my treasure. Time was easy; I just started spending more time at church. I attended bible study; I joined a ministry and small group. Talent was harder. First I had to acknowledge I was talented. God created me for a purpose therefore he gave me the talents I need to live out that purpose. I attended spiritual gifts workshops and took assessments and once I had some idea what my gifts were I worked on embracing them. I stopped “volunteering” and instead I prayed to God asking where to use my gifts and time. It didn’t take long for God to show me ways to begin serving. What a gift! Now that I was tithing time and talent I began to think about my treasure.

I was in debt to the tune of $50,000 on credit cards. I had never thought of my credit card debt as sin, until I started to think about serving one master. How could I tithe my 10 percent when everything I brought in should be going to the bank to get out of debt? The question became whether to tithe or to pay off my debt? The answer was simple: both! The decision was made, I would tithe, and I took the leap of faith. 10 percent it was and here we go. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen? Which bill was I not going to be able to pay? Was I going to have to sell the house, eat peanut butter and jelly every meal for the year? I was scared, but I trusted in God.

Just turning in the commitment card my heart was bursting with love and joy because I left my fear behind. I made my decision out of love for my God and not fear for myself. And of course God being God I have never wanted for anything. I still have my house, plenty to eat and I no longer have any credit card debt. Not only did God accept my tithe, but more importantly he accepted my gift of Love and He blessed me again and again and again. He freed me from my credit card master so that I truly could serve Him as my only master. Now I look for ways to give away the abundant blessings he bestows upon me.

I guess the words stewardship, sacrificial giving, pledge card, commitment month…still bother me because I sacrifice nothing except fear, I pledge nothing but myself which gives me joy and I am blessed to be called a steward for God entrusts me with His creation. I do not know how this commitment month of October will look and feel for you, I pray you feel the joy I do. I know that I commit myself to God each morning that I find myself awake and am given the gift of another day to serve.